Luke 8:43, that was me…

Ok, men, I’m gonna give you the heads up. This may be a little explicit if you don’t like talking about the female anatomy and how it functions! You’ve been warned!

So as you all know, one of the things I absolutely love about this blog is it’s my/our platform to not only share with you things that may benefit his, hers, or our lives, it’s an outlet for us to be able to talk about LIFE. This blog in particular is for the ladies, or from “her” perspective.

Something some of you may not know about me is that since starting puberty, I’ve had issues with my monthly cycle. They were always super heavy and clotty flow, HORRIBLE debilitating cramps, fatigue, you name it, I had it. After running several invasive tests at a young age (12) it was discovered that I had cysts and fibroids. As a result, I was put on birth control at 16 years old. Of course it worked, help ease the symptoms, and even cleared up my skin. Fast forward to high school, college, then marriage, the only time I stopped taking it was when Lowell and I decided to have children, hence Max , Peyton, and my heavenly baby that I miscarried.

June-August 2019

Well, it dawned on me at 37ish that I should probably stop taking birth control, hoping that it would have changed my body from the experience of my teenage years. Especially since we decided we were done having children, and Lowell already had his vasectomy. Also, I had no idea what the long term effects would do to my body. I was hoping it was for the better. WRONG!!! I stopped using the NuvaRing and within 1 month of me stopping the birth control, my symptoms started again, as if I were never on the birth control. Actually, they were worse than I remembered.

September 2019

So on top of the excruciating cramps, bloating, headaches, fatigue, etc, I started feeling a new sensation prior to my period. These sharp pains alternating on my side, maybe a week before my cycle. They hurt so much that I had to go to urgent care. And then the tests began again, to either find out the problem, or rule anything serious out. Come to find out, this was my body ovulating. And the cysts were back.

October-November 2019

Fortunately, I’ve been with the same OBGYN during this entire feminine journey. She was in her residency when I started with her, and I stayed with her until she had her own practice. She even monitored my 3 pregnancies, and the 2 days she told me not to go into labor because she wasn’t available to deliver were the 2 days I went into labor with Max and Peyton, smh. Keep in mind, she had already been monitoring my situation as it progressed. We created a plan of action once I got off of birth control, and told me what to pay attention too. And before we made the decision to have a full blown hysterectomy, she recommended an endometrial ablation, where instead of removing the uterus entirely (which speeds up menopause), they burn the endometrial lining in your uterus through a tool inserted in the vagina, which eliminates the egg from implanting In the lining, which would eliminate the period. It’s not surgery, because there’s no cutting or incisions involved. This was probably the 2nd most painful thing through all this, the biopsy! Even though it only lasted about 30 seconds, IT HURT! But it was necessary to get the results I needed for the pre-op to the procedure.

December 5, 2019

Procedure day! There were so many emotions going through my head, but ironically, fear wasn’t one of them. Not only did I know that God had the situation under control, but I was so ready for relief from this issue of blood! And guess what, MY PERIOD STARTED THE NIGHT BEFORE, super heavy, but we were told this didn’t matter, cause they were going to roto-rooter me anyway, lol. I was calm, collected, and surprisingly excited. We arrived to the facility, I undressed, took the jewelry off, laid on the bed, I was rolled to the operating room where they were prepping (and it was freezing), the anesthesiologist told me to take a deep breath, and next thing you know, I was waking up in a completely different room with no cramps or bleeding. Little did I know, I’d be in some pretty bad pain for the next 24hrs, but it was so worth it.

Today

It has been more than 2 months since the procedure, and I have not had 1 period!!!! I did spot a little after the procedure, but THATS IT! No more cramps, no more bloating, no more headaches, no more loss of iron, no more fatigue, NOTHING! I praise God for my Dr and my husbands amazing PPO. I am so grateful for the healing that God has given me, and if I could do it again, I would do it in a heartbeat. Ladies, if you’re lifestyle is slowing down because of your cycle, I highly recommend that you find yourself an amazing OBGYN, and find out what your options are. The way I feel right now is absolutely amazing, so I encourage you to take the steps to do what you need to if your periods are slowing you down!

The Date Night Box

Hey guys, and Happy 2019, Merry Belated Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah, you name it!  It's been a while, I know! But Lowell and I have just been crazy busy. Nevertheless, we made a commitment to share these blogs and allow God to use us, so we're gonna continue doing that!

With that being said, here we are again for the 20th (literally) Valentine's Day. I mean, what do you do or buy for your significant other when it's the 20th Valentine's you've spent together? I mean seriously, we've done the weekend getaways, gone to 5 star restaurants, I've gotten flowers or edible arrangements deliverd to my job (got flowers today), gone to paint nights, etc. But as the years went on and reality set in with everyday "adulting responsibilities" sometimes we're literally just too tired to do anything. Or, sometimes Lowell literally has to work on 2/14 and I'm stuck at home with Max and Peyton going through the candy their classmates got them (like tonight). Let's face it, we got real bills that really need to be paid! Adulting sucks sometimes, but we gotta do it. And even though this is a peagan holiday, it's still nice to show love to our partners, and receive that love in return. So this year, I decided to spice it up and get back to the basics. To often we get caught up in "life" and forget that continuing to date eachother is required to maintain the intamacy of our marriage. So I made a Date Night Box for us, to last beyond Valentine's Day to keep our relationship active and intimate.

Here are the supplies you'll need:
• A box to put the date night ideas in (Dollar Tree)
• 3 colors of paper to print to represent each category (I did white for free dates, pink for low budget dates, and yellow for open budget dates )
• A picture of you and your significant other to put on top of the box
• Scissors
• Glue or tape
• Decorations for your box (optional)

1. Create the different date night ideas and separate by category.

You can cater it to meet your needs and interests. I went on Pinterest and got different ideas for date nights- Free Dates (white), Low Budget Dates (pink), Open Budget Date (yellow). I printed each category on the designated color of paper, and cut them out. I had about 20 ideas for each category.

2. Decorate your box. 

Make it personal. I just got a red box, printed a picture of us out and taped it on the box. You can add stickers to the exterior of the box, quotes, color it, whatever tickles your fancy.  Lowell could care less about what the outside of the box looks like, so I just said forget it, lol.

3. Create a color coding chart.

You need to let your significant other know what each of the colors represent. You can tape or glue it to the top or the interior of the box wherever you'd like. It just needs to be in a place where you can see it when you open the box.

4. Place the cut out color coded date night ideas  in the box. 

5.Wrap it, and give it as a gift. 

This is what I gave Lowell this year for Valentine's. Once again, we've just about done everything, so this was something new and personal.  Especially since our work schedules have been opposite lately. This will get us excited to go on a date as opposed to falling asleep on the couch together, even though that's necessary sometimes.

6. GO ON A DATE THAT MEETS YOUR BUDGET NEEDS! 

This is it! Go to this box to chose a date night that fits your pocket. This will keep your date nights fun and exciting! We'll use ours for the first time tomorrow. Stay tuned!!!

Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit. He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me. ~Song of Songs 2:3‭-‬4 

New Level of Respect

Omg, guys it's been wayyyyy too long! I'm SO excited that life is slowing down, and we're getting back into our regular routine! A lot has happened since we've last posted. WE ARE OFFICIALLY HOME OWNERS, PRAISE GOD!!! But what I didn't fully realize at the time is the physical, mental, financial, and emotional work you have to put into making a house into a home.

Yes, it's a wonderful thing owning a home, but it's so much deeper than just that. My husband is just so amazing! This whole experience has actually brought us closer. I hear so many say buying a home will make you are argue, disagree, etc. And while we've had our fair share of small disagreements, it hasn't been bad. When we bought this house, it was a wreck! But fortunately, we saw the potential behind the mess! The day we got the keys, Lowell stayed until 4am scraping the popcorn off the ceiling. He didn't waste anytime.

Keep in mind, we got the keys on May 26, 2018. We didn't move in until August 21, 2018, that's how much work needed to be done! But the beauty in all of this is, I've seen my husband work so hard. I mean border line fatigue. He would go to work 10-12hrs a day, and literally come straight to the house to work on it. Tired or not, he was so determined, FOR 3 MONTHS. And now that we see the benefits of his hard work, I have gained so much respect for him. Seeing how he wanted to do this for me and his children, whatever it took to get us here, is just mind blowing to me. He is so selfless, because he refused to allow anything get in his way.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.~Ephesians 5:22‭-‬24 

When you witness someone working so hard to create a better lifestyle for you, there is no problem submitting. But even beyond submission, I've gained another level of respect for my husband. This past year, I've had to opportunity to see his strength in a new light. I've witnessed him having to make the hard decision to tell the Dr.s to pull the plug on his father, followed by him saying the last prayer seconds before his heart stopped beating. I've witnessed him get off from a graveyard shift, still mourning and exhausted, and he'd come to the house to pull baseboard, lay laminate flooring, connect electricity in the attic, paint, crawl under the house for plumbing, etc. All these things, he's put his own personal needs and wants aside to care for someone else. This year has shown me that his heart is absolutely amazing, but it's on another level. I am forever grateful to my husband for his strength, hard work, dedication, love & faithfulness that he has shown his family. It's an honor carrying his last name, being able to call myself his wife, and seeing the fruits of his labor in our home! Here's to making new memories in our new home!

***And on a side note, our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and all of our support system is amazing. NONE of this would have been possible without their help!!! I'll save the thanks for the next blog,  because their help deserves their own!

For better, for worse...

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Created as a union between a man and a woman, Adam and Eve were wed in the Garden of Eden.  This is the point where people stop paying attention to the story because that is how they picture their marriage will be one day. Endless bliss, in paradise with your soulmate, walking on the beach watching the sunset without a care in the world, and being able to make love to the love of your life under the moonlight to the sound of the waves crashing. Unfortunately, when people fantasize about being married, they don't tend to include all that comes with it. The highs and the lows, the disagreements on life and parenting, in laws, laundry, money, time, dinner, sex, stinky drawls and socks left on the ground, watching your spouse grieve from losing loved one, etc., etc. 

Marriage is so much more than just a fantasy. While it is possible to be in paradise with your soulmate at times, it's not always a walk in the park. Life happens in between, real life situations that will take you from what seems like a waterfront suite overlooking the waves to a tent without an air mattress during a winter storm at the bottom of Death Valley. Yeah, sounds brutal huh! Unfortunately, people walk into marriage with the wrong mindset, focusing on the wedding day itself instead of the realities of LIFE that you vow to share and work through with your spouse. 

Things are going to pop up, but what ultimately matters is how you chose to deal with them. Marriage is not 50:50, it's 100:100. In my opinion, each spouse needs to put their mates needs above their own. If you keep eachothers needs met, it really does make life that much easier. Teamwork makes the dream work right?!?! But that doesn't mean ignore your feelings, emotions, needs, wants. No! It means communicate what it is you desire so your spouse can at least try to meet them.

Some things only pop up once or twice, but there are a couple of things that require regular work.  So, somethings to help you to face and overcome these disagreements are to:

1. Pray (together and alone)

2. Communicate

3. Forgive

4. Laugh

5. Date (eachother)

6. Set reasonable goals, and accomplish them

7. Respect him, love her (1 Corinthians 7)

8.  Budget finances and save $

9. Communicate, again

10. Did I mention communicate

11. Encourage eachother

I can go on and on, but just know that marriage has it's ups and downs. Plain and simple, it takes work! It's no fairytale, but it's like a car. It will work amazingly if you committ to keeping up with the routine  maintenance that it requires. Your contract for this "car" is the vow you make while on the alter; I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." "I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. 

Just Be There

One of the reasons I'm so grateful for this blog is because it gives me/us an opppurtunity to speak and vent. I mean let's face it, life happens. And I don't know about you, but it feels good to talk about. To say what you learned from it, how it effected you, what you could have done better, etc. And as much as life happens, there's one thing that you can't really prepare yourself for, the death of a loved one. This year, we've lost some pretty important people in my family. My cousin Connie died of breast cancer in July, our pianist ,Vanessa, from church who we were so close too and considered family died suddenly and unexpectedly in September. And to put the icing on the cake, my cousin/GodSister, Cherish, lost her battle with leukemia in October at 18 years old (her 19th birthday is ironically today). That one really took me hard! Then we got home from celebrating her 18 years of life, to get word that my father-in-law is now suffering from late stages of lung cancer, and it's spread. My 1st reaction was, OK God! I can't question You because your will is perfect, and you don't make mistakes, BUT, I'm human, and this is ALOT! I was almost numb because so many people around me that I'm close too are transitioning, but my father-n-law?!?! I've known this man for 19 years being young and vibrant, and to now see him frail and in pain is a bit much, and to watch my husband and his family try to take it all in. 

 Not to mention, in my mind, I didn't think that Lowell and I would have reached this point in our marriage where our parents would start getting sick like this. I mean, to us, they're still young, but in reality, they're getting older. But where do I stand in all of this?

And that's when I told myself (or the Holy Spirit whispered it), you don't have a choice BUT to be strong. You are going to have to carry your family through this. You have a husband who works so hard to keep a roof over your head and food on your table, he can't afford to break because he needs to lean on the little ounce of strength that you have left. You have 2 children who need you to empathize what it's like to watch their grandfather go through fighting cancer, and support them just like you needed support when you watched your grandmother go through the exact same thing. And furthermore, your mother, brother and sister in law NEED YOU!

 So I say all that to say, life happens whether you like it or not. It is going to come at you. And yes, you're human. Its OK to grieve. It's ok to cry. Its OK to hurt. But the key is to not stay at that point. You've gotta get up, and ask God to take the little that you have and make it much. He created you, He placed joy in you that cannot be replaced. "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy."~Psalms 30:11

 Gods will perfect. We may not understand what's going on, or why it's happening, but God does! And on top of that, God has the final say in every situation. Yes, doctors told my father in law he may only have 6 months to live, but God's plan may be different than what our circumstance looks like. Maybe he's got another year or even 10 years of life. Only God knows. "We may make our plans, but God has the last word."~Proverbs 16:1

And when He chooses to bring my father-in-law home, whenever that is, they'll be no more pain or suffering, COMPLETE physical AND spiritual healing!!! "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."~Revelation 21:4 

 In the meantime, I'll stand in the gap, to hold up, to pray, to encourage, to uplift, to minister, to crack jokes,  to reminisce on good memories, and to be a shoulder to cry on for my husband and family. We're in this together. So I'll just be there for them in whatever capacity they need me to be.  

Reversing My Personal Insanity

Sunday, August 27, 2017

I'm fastly approaching 36 (Sep.2), and I'm well aware of the fact that I still have some issues that I need to work on. Nothing major, but we all know Albert Einstein's definition of insanity: "doing the same thingover and over again, but expecting different results”. I decided it was time to reverse my personal insanity- ANXIETY.  Gods word says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."~Phillians 4:6-7.

So today, I decided to do just that, figure out how to defeat my personal insanity , aka anxiety.  I got the opportunity to attend a therapy workshop hosted by an amazing Therapist that I went to high school with, Glenna Anderson LCSW http://glennaandersonlcsw.com/. I highly recommend her! Anywho what caught my eye about the seminar was in the description itself: are you a strong woman secretly dealing with anxiety. That had Chenèe written all over it! I may seem like I have it altogether, but I am so far from having it all together. 

I won't go into detail with what we did,  because I reccomend you attend one of the workshops, but we did take a personal inventory of different aspects of our lives, ranging from physical, financial, relationships, etc. With that we had to put the pieces of the puzzle together, and basically say, ok self, these are the areas of my life that I need to take more self care in, and create an action plan to do so. As we finished the exercises, it became so clear to me what the root cause of my axiety is, my spiritual walk with the Lord. Am I saved? Yes! Do I know the Lord as my personal savior? Yes! Do I pray about everything and make EVERY request known to God? Eh, kind of. Not ok Chenèe.

So the lesson in all of this is if my spiritual life is off centered, everything else will follow suit. Jesus is the center of EVERYTHING. I cannot expect areas of my life to make sense if I'm  neglecting the one area that should be given the most attention. I mean, that scripture is DEEP. He said "but in EVERYTHING by prayer." EVERYTHING, not somethings. It was clear as day to me, that's why I suffer from anxiety. I rely to much on myself to deal with lifes issues instead of relying on Him. As a result, I have ANXIETY! But now that I'm aware, I'll do better!

If you're reading this blog, I truly encourage you to take an inventory of yourself, and figure out what areas of your life you need to tweak, and get some help if need be. Therapists are a gift from God. They help us work out the wires in our brains just like a doctors help heal  physical issues. But on top of professional help, make a conscious effort to pray about EVERYTHING, not just somethings. I'm a work in progress!

Hers- Top 10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years of Marriage

So we've finally reached a milestone in our marriage! We celebrated 10 years of our blessed union on August 12, 2016! We even took our 1st vacation ALONE since we've had children, and it was absolutely AMAZING! But in our 10 years of being married, I'd like to share the top 10 things I've learned through the course of our 10 year marriage. Lowell is gonna share "his" top 10 things he's learned as well. For now, heres mine: 

1. Take me time- Being a FT wife, mom, and employee can be stressful. I know that I need time to decompress and relax so I'll be pleasant for my family, and not a nagging grumpy mom. I make a conscious effort to go the nail spa regularly and have girl time.

2. Listen- I have the gift of gab. But like I tell Peyton, sometimes I've gotta close my mouth and open my ears, to listen to Lowell. 

3. Forgive fast- Harboring unforgivness just leads to constant conflict and miscommunication. Jesus is a perfect example of forgiving. I mean if He didn't forgive me/us for my/our sins, we'd be some lost souls!

4. Say sorry- As stubborn as I am, I'm not always right. And sometimes, Lowell needs to hear me say that.

5. Respect- This is probably the most important things I've learned while being married, because all of these revolve around this. And respecting Lowell doesn't mean that I don't have a voice. It simply means that I need to treat Lowell as the head of our household, because that's his God given role. I mean come on, I wouldn't disrespect my boss at work. Likewise, he's the Manager, I'm Assistant Manager (and the Admin, Secretary, Marketing Director, Janitor, Chef, etc, lol) of the Ostlund household. Ultimately, God is the CEO/CFO/President, we work for Him.

6. Enjoy making love and cuddling- This right here was the one thing that sealed the deal when we got married. It's Gods gift to us, to enjoy one another and ONLY one another in this intamate/sacred way, so we need to make the most of it, and enjoy it to the fullest. Even after a long day of work, cooking, homework, giving baths, etc. No headache excuses, lol! Take some Tylenol and keep it moving!

7. Support him and his dreams- There's enough stress that Lowell has to deal with outside of this house. I need to be his #1 cheerleader, and encourage him when he's discouraged and tired with life's headaches, and remind him of not only who he is in Christ, but remind him of the amazing man/husband he is to me, and the great father he is to Max and Peyton. 

8. Speak his love language- As mentioned in a previous blog I posted on February 20, 2016 titled "Discovering The 5 Love" Languages," through the help of the book, I learned the importance of speaking each others love language. He needs to be able to receive live from according to how God designed his mind tt receive it.  That's done by word of encouragement and physical touch which are his love languages. He needs to be able to receive love according to how God designed his mind to receive it, and it's my job to speak it!

9. Work together as a team, especially when parenting- For obvious reasons, I can't express the importance of this. Let's just say, it is so helpful to have a partner to help with the day to day routine and activities, that can get EXTREMELY stressful and time consuming! Teamwork is the KEY!

10. Date each other- This is some of the best advice we received during marriage counseling. Going on a date, whether it's the movies, a walk, an amusement park, or dinner, allowed us to be able to connect like we did when we were young, and boyfriend and girlfeind. It keeps not only our relationship lively, but it continues to grow our friendship, and helps us stay young. 

Most importantly, praying and reading the word together and individually is vital for the success of our marriage. It's our light, strength, hope, encouragement, and the glue to everything, because without it, we'd truly be lost! It's because of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that we have what we have, and for that, I am truly forever grateful!!!  I'm far from perfect, but I'm a constant work in progress.

Accepting Me for Me

Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.~Ecclesiastes 9:9

If you didn't know, I've been going through this natural hair journey going on 5 years, and when I tell you it has been a process, MAN!!! My hair may be natural and chemical free, but let me tell you it's far from easy maintenance. But what you may not know is my natural hair journey began with Lowell. And what seems like just a natural hair journey on the outside, is actually a true revelation of how someone, the one for you, loves you for you, in your natural God given state.

If you know me, you know my hair used to be permed, whipped, and straightened 24/7. And it didn't help that my step mom was (is) a beautician, and I was able to get my hair done at the drop of a dime. Not that anything is wrong with hair care and what not, but what I never took the chance to try to realize was that underneath all of that store bought hair and products, was natural beauty. But I was clouded from seeing that, for various reasons. My better half however, saw through it all. He didn't care about my hair or how straight my edges were. He saw me, the real me, my soul. It's amazing how God can use someone to reveal yourself to yourself. The more in love with him I fell, the more I started to see the layers of my internal onion unfold before me in the mirror. Coincidently, during this time in my life, his (Lowell) relationship with the Lord began to increase, and God started to reveal my true beauty to myself just by being a bystander. The Holy Spirit began to speak to me, and help me accept me. This is what happens when 1, you're in tune with the Holy Spirit, and 2, you're with the person who God created you to be with, and that person puts God above all else.

And it doesn't even have to necessarily be natural hair, like in my case. It can be anything that masks the real you (makeup, clothes, etc.). When God gives you the person you're suppose to be with, they'll simply love you for you. And in return, it'll help you overcome any insecurities you may be battling. I thank God so much for my husband! He loves me in my natural state, and he loved and accepts me for being me, flaws (that I saw) and all. He reassures me and my insecure conscience that I'm beautiful, that I'm perfect for him, that in his eyes, I have no flaws, that I was fearfully and wonderfully made. I can be walking around exhausted, in my robe, baggy sweats, with my hair all.over my head, and I'll catch him staring at me with googly eyes like I'm walking down the isle again. As a woman, I think we need that type of authentic love and encouragement. So I dedicate this blog to my husband. For allowing God to use him to help me see the beauty in me! It pushes me to be that Proverbs 31 woman, wife, mother, servant for God. It holds me accountable to this Christian walk and makes me want to do/be better.

Not only that, it's helping me be a better example for Peyton and Max. All this stuff is much bigger than just self acceptance. Our marriage filters into other areas of ministry, and it's example is helping set the foundation for the future Ostlund generations. So with that, I thank God that I've accepted me for me, and for Him using Lowell to help me in that area. Now I'll continue to allow Him to mold me into the woman He wants me to be, for the greater good!

If you haven't met "the one" yet, be patient. It's going to happen, and I know its easier said than done. And when it does, you'll know. You won't have to question true love, because wants the beat for you. If you're with "the one", continue to work on and cultivate your ministry.   

He (Lowell) saw the queen in me, and helped me to see it myself.

Comfort Those Who Are Suffering in Silence

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.~2 Corinthians 1:4-5

One thing that God has given me is a sensitive heart to encourage and comfort those that are hurting: my friends, associates, and people I barely know. Sometimes as humans, it's so easy to look at someone, and assume (and you know what they say about assuming) that they have an attitude or they're mean. Or maybe someone you know is the complete opposite, and always has always has a smile on their face, but they're trying to disguise what's really going on inside. In reality, they may truly be hurting, and it's just showing outwardly or they're trying to cover it up, and you have no idea what they're struggling with or battling.  People are suffering in silence for TONS of various reasons: depression, loneliness, grieving the loss of a loved one, financial hardship, suffering from mental illness, toxic relationships, experiencing domestic violence (physical and/or mental), feeling stuck in life, substance abuse,  the list goes on and on. Yes, sometimes people do just have a chip on their shoulder. But thayts not always the case.  So I say all of this to say, be a blessing to someone.  Ask God to use you to bless someone, for reasons beyond your understanding. Maybe He'll give you a word of encouragement and let them hear what they need to hear to brighten their spirit. Maybe He'll lead you to pray with them. Maybe He'll lead you to have an intimate discussion with them because they have no one to talk to. Something I've found to happen, is that maybe He'll lead you to talk to them because you've overcome something they may be struggling with, and you can help guide them through. Whatever the purpose or reason, we need to learn to be compassionate and empathetic so God can use us to be a living and walking example of the love He's shown us. 

So not only this holiday season, but daily, be mindful that people are battling some tough situations. Be a shoulder for them to cry on, lend an ear to listen, but most importantly, pray for them and/or with them.  Don't mistake the wall someone has put up for an attitude, because chances are its much deeper than that. I'm trying hard to be that woman, to set myself aside, and uplift people, because people are hurting. So whatever I can do to make a difference in their life, and help them, I will. I want God to use me. I'm praying for discernment to recognize those that are hiding behind a smile, or a wall.

God is Greater than CNN

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV

So let me set the scene to where the topic of this blog came from. I was talking to Lowell a few months ago on our date night questioning how we're going to teach Max and Peyton to be strong in faith with all of the sin and evil things going on in the world. Well for obvious reasons, this scripture is one that I'm clinging on these days. Not to mention all the recent terrorist attacks around the world. I try so hard not to watch the news, but you almost can't escape it. All you have to do is log onto Facebook and see your timeline to get up to date information on breaking news from across the world. But times are getting progressively worse. Terrorist attacks, racial wars, police brutality, rapes, kidnappings, killings, gangs, politics (Donald Trump running for president, yikes),  etc, the world is turning into "The Purge" in real life. It's real in these streets! And trying to raise 2 innocent babies in such a perverted and evil world can be so nerve wrecking. But the one thing that brings me constant comfort is knowing that God is with me, and He will continue to protect me and mine through it all. I'm not really sure how I'd survive without Him. Scratch that, I wouldn't! Like I mentioned in the first "her" blog I wrote, I'm a naturally sensitive person, I naturally stress out over small things. But the one thing that keeps me grounded is the word of God. And the fact that my babies are depending on me/us to teach them how to survive in this craziness makes my mind wander. The more my mind starts to wander away from God's word, the more Satan starts to place negative thoughts in my head. And this isn't just about raising my babies, it's a number of things, like life in general. But God always brings me back to this, and I'm going to make it personal, and so should you: Chenèe, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on YOUR OWN understanding (Chenee). In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.~Proverbs 3:5-6. This is by far my favorite verse, because it reminds me that NO MATTER what I'm going through, I don't have to worry about tomorrow. I don't have to worry about how my kids are going to survive in this world cause He said that He'd never leave us or forsake us. That fear kicks in when I take my mind off of what I should be focusing on. And let's be honest, well at least I'll be honest with myself, my mind can lose focus easily if I allow it. But that's just a reminder that I need to continue to build my faith. I'm so far from perfect, but I'm grateful that I'm conscious of the fact that I'm not perfect, and that the God that I serve is working on me and through me. My job is to simply stand firm in what I believe, trust Him to keep and protect my family through these evil days , don't fear, but be brave and obedient, submit to my husband, and train up our babies in the way they should go, so when they get older they won't depart from it. I thank God so much for my kids, because they make me want to be a better person because I know they're watching me. So yes, there is a lot going on these days, but fear is not the reaction I should have to what's going on. Being brave, standing on what I believe, and raising some soldiers for God should be my main focus!!!