We'll preface this blog to be a not only a book review, but discuss how this has benefited us.
During this journey called life, one thing we've both discovered is absolutely necessary for any relationship (marriage, friendship, family, coworker, etc.) is communication. And not just communication, but EFFECTIVE communication is absolutely necessary for the success of any relationship. Both parties need to feel like they're being heard, and both parties need to make a conscious effort to listen as well.
One thing we started participating in early in our marriage was marriage retreats and regularly attending our church's marriage ministry's Bible study. Both of us were so young when we got married, and we were open to any tools and help that would help us to build a strong foundation for "us." One of the 1st lessons came from a book titled "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Basically the books breaks down what the 5 different languages are, and how to evaluate what your partners languages are. The 5 languages are gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy). Once you take the survey to determine what your love language is, the books teaches you how to speak your partners love language. Essentially, the languages help your partner receive love according to how God has wired their brain and emotions to work. After doing the survey, Lowell discovered his language are physical touch (just like a man😜) and words of affirmation. So my job as his wife is to put extra emphasis on being physically intimate with him, and speaking positively. My love languages are quality time and acts of service (cleaning, helping with homework, etc), which are kind of self explanatory.
We've discovered that speaking each others love language really adds an extra boost of fulfillment and gratification to our marriage. When I speak Lowells love language, he feels respected, and when he speaks mine, I feel loved. This is exactly what God designed a marriage to be. "So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."~Ephesians 5:33~ This is all about God's perfect plan, and how he has strategically wired men and women's brains to work, so meeting the emotional, physical, mental needs of your spouse is vital for a successful marriage.
Needless to say, the booked has opened our lines of communication, and not only hold each of us accountable, but it has helped us put things into perspective on how treat one another. If you've never read this book as a couple, I highly reccomend it. There's also other books that apply to other important relationships in your life: 5 Love Languages for singles, teens, men, woman, and parents (which I'm reading).
I hope this book review was helpful, because it has given us some specific tips and tools to better communicate with one another in a Godly way. But keep in mind, the 1 book that can always give you the best tools for anything, is that good ole faithful word of God, better known as the Bible.
