It may come as a shock, but you will not always agree with your partner, and that’s okay. Everybody has a right to my opinion. Just kidding, their own opinion, see what I did there. Let’s use parenting as an example. Lowell and I come come from completely different upbringings. I come a traditional black old school disciplinary home. What Mom and Dad says go’s, and if you have anything to say against why they’ve instructed you to do what you’re supposed to do, you either get a whoopin’ or punishment, PERIOD! Lowell however comes from a very traditional suburban white family (in his words, not mine) where he had to go on time out, stand in the corner, or had to write standards. He’d get the occasional punishment, but it would only be for a day or 2, nothing long term. Fast forward 20 something years, now parenting together, we agree on what needs to be done, but we don’t always agree on how it needs to be done. And as the parents, we’ve gotta make sure or least appear like we’ve got our ish together as a united front. And to be brutally honest, that’s not always the case! We may write these blogs, but let’s get one thing straight, we are far from perfect!
At some point, with most situations in marriage, we’ve gotta address the “now what”. The “now what” is one of the most common things we’ve seen in most of these blogs, COMMUNICATION! We literally just sat down ironically and had a full blown conversation about this very topic, and discussed my thoughts/feelings, and his thoughts/feelings regarding the kids and their chores. While I thought we weren’t on the same page about the kids chores, Maxwell came in our room and confirmed that we actually are on the same page, but our discipline style and approach are just completely different. Had we not sat down and actually talked about it, I would have continued to think that Lowel doesn’t consistently help me with reminding the kids to do their chores on a regular basis, which leads me to have an attitude, which would have carried into other conversations throughout the night, which would have led me to be irritated and upset for no reason, etc.
The lesson from all this is to communicate and put it all on the table. Otherwise, the disunity will put cracks in the foundation. Some may be small, and some may be big. But enough small cracks can bring down a building too. Talk about it, effectively listen to your partners side, and agree, or agree to disagree, and let it go!
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.~Ephesians 4:31-5:2
