Children are amazing. They can make you happier than anything else in the world, but they can also make you angrier than anything else in the world. But having kids definitely changes the dynamics of your marriage! Fortunately for us, we are reaching a point in our relationship where we have a little more freedom now that the kids are older. Max is a teenager and Peyton is a very responsible 10 year old, so they not only get to actively participate in keeping our house tidy, but they occasionally get to stay home alone, which means Mom and Dad get to have a little more freedom. While we are far from done parenting and raising kids, I feel like God is rewarding us a little now by giving us a little more freedom now that they’re maturing, with out having to find a sitter!
With that being said, let’s discuss how these little nuggets have changed our martial bliss:
In the beginning, they were the reason I lacked sleep. Being a mother, caring for them as babies, catering to them when they were sick played a big part in the lack of sleep. But fortunately, we got 2 sleepers!!! After they were both 3 months old, they’ve been sleeping through the night with no problem, so we never had to deal with the waking up at 3am to watch tv kids, THANK GOD!!!
Financially, it takes a toll on you. I like to shop, travel, eat out, you name it. But it’s obviously easier to do that when you only have 2 people to keep alive. Quarantine has proven that I have a miniature football team to feed instead. Yes School can’t start soon enough! But I’m so grateful that we have jobs that can still support a lifestyle that allows us to be able to splurge occasionally, and feed the team.
Becoming a parent makes you put yourself last. And that’s fine. They didn’t ask to be brought here. So their needs and well-being come before mine, but within reason. My Dad shared with me before I became a mother, to make sure that I continued to find time for myself. Like dating Lowell, I’ve stuck to that advise. And it helps balance my needs with theirs! This could come in the form of working out, getting my nails done, taking myself to lunch, going shopping, etc. It’s all necessary for my sanity, and Lowell has his alone time as well.
Obviously , having kids means extra curricular activities, which can lead to limited time at home, which means Lowell and I have to get creative in how we spend time together. Bottom line, our marriage tuneup is a priority, so we still consciously try to fit time in for us in between piano and guitar lessons, golf and dance practice, play dates, etc. And let’s be real, this stuff can be physically exhausting. But when Lowell comes tapping on my shoulder ready for some bow chica bow wow, I need to be ready. And for the most part I am. There have been a few occasions where I literally am so tired that I can’t, lol. Fortunately, he understands!
Having kids has helped our bond become stronger. For starters, I believe his love grew even more for me when he got to witness what I went through just carrying 2 children, how physically exhausting it was being pregnant AND watching me give birth. But once they get here, raising them was/is no joke. We have to make sure we’re both a united front, which in turn strengthened us. Win win!
All in all, having Maxwell and Peyton was one of the best decisions we ever made. As much as they drive us crazy, life would be so incomplete without them. They are absolutely amazing children, we’re honored to be their parents, even when we’re ready to choke them out. Did we have to adjust our lives to having children? YES! Was it worth it? YES!
“Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it.”~ Proverbs 22:6
