Breaking News! People are nosey. It’s a good idea to keep them out of your business unless they have a need to know. Find out more Below!
Step one, don’t start a blog about marriage and stuff. If you do, people may read it, then they are gonna try to talk to you about it because that’s what people do. If you have to write a blog, don’t lay all the juicy details out there. This goes for social media as well. Anything you put in print is game, so texts and emails tambien. We try to be as general as we can but like to provide real world examples where it seems helpful, so we are respectful of each other’s feelings and never write anything that would be too embarrassing.
Step two, keep a lid on the negativity when speaking about your spouse or marriage. This applies to social media as well as actual conversations. Don’t bash your partner to other people. Don’t air dirty laundry, or complain about marital problems to other people. The truth is most people won’t be able to help your situation or fix whatever issues you are having. They will sound engaged and offer advice but really they are chomping at the bit to tell someone about what you just told them. Seeking out advice should be reserved for professional therapists or very close personal friends.
Step three, be very wary of discussing issues with parents or other family members. Parents have a tendency pry into things. It’s not usually with ill intentions, but you are their child and they want to protect you. It could be devastating to lower your parents opinion of your spouse because you are frustrated about something and put a little extra on it while venting to mom. It’s also rough putting a parent into the middle of an argument you are having. They will want to choose a side, and if they don’t choose your side it could lead to problems with a parent down the road.
Step four, don’t have arguments out in public or at gatherings. Things will escalate faster because some people can be a little extra if they have an audience. This just leaves the door open for hurt feelings and relationship damage that can take years to repair. I’m not saying you should pretend that everything is ok, but I am saying that you should step away from the group and have a discussion, work it out calmly or agree to discuss when you are alone later.
I think that sharing the negative things about your spouse/marriage has the potential to be very damaging to your relationship. It can also damage relationships with friends and family. It is important for you to be a united front, especially if you have children. Don’t talk about the bad stuff publicly until you guys have worked through it and are confident that it won’t hurt you anymore. Your marriage is between you and your spouse under God. Don’t make things messy by bringing in outsiders because even if their intentions are good you will get phone calls or messages from people asking about the problem that you never told them anything about. The gossip wheel kicks in and soon everyone in your circle knows the business, I’m not just talking about the women either, fellas, we like to spin the wheel just as much as the ladies.
1 Thessalonians 4:11 (KJV) And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;
Proverbs 25:9-10 (KJV) 9 Debate thy cause with thy neighbour [himself]; and discover not a secret to another: 10 Lest he that heareth [it] put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away.
